Poor poor pitiful me...

I have been throwing myself just a few too many pity parties lately and in an effort to end this habit, I am blogging about it. I thought I would just write it in my journal, get the rage out, whatever, but I think blogging will seal the deal and help me to stop dwelling... So I am sure everyone throws themselves pity parties from time to time. Mine seem to be coming more often lately. Sometimes it just feels like EVERYONE has it all together but me, EVERYONE had the perfect upbringing, the perfect marriage, the perfect kids, the perfect little house with the perfect little picket fence, except me. Haha. I know this isn't true, just every once in awhile I start being a baby. The truth I have come to realize is that NO ONE has it all together and where God blesses one person, he makes a weakness in something else. When I had Andrew, I was going to be the PERFECT mom. I looked at all these other moms and said, "My kid is going to be like that..." and, "my kid won't ever be anything like that!" Ha! The thing I forgot to notice was that this person is not just my play toy and I can't mold and make him do whatever I want. No matter how hard I try, which don't get me wrong I am still going to try to raise him right, he is himself. He is my rambunctious little toddler that doesn't do a thing I say. Hahaha. Sometimes I think, why didn't I get the advantage of having a dad around? blah blah blah. Well it doesn't matter. Everyone has their little tragedies in life and everyone has their triumphs. Maybe I didn't have a dad around, but my children have one and I would do it all again to let them have that advantage. I feel like marrying Ben was just a total blessing from God, nothing done on my part because I was an idiot. Haha. Well now I just feel like I am rambling so I will wrap it up here. One of my goals this year is going to be to stop worrying about what everyone else is doing, stop dwelling on my misfortunes and past saddnesses, stop comparing myself to other people and just figure myself out. One of my favorite songs by Jack Johnson is called wasting time. In the lyrics he says, "Oh but everybody thinks that everybody knows about everybody else. Nobody knows anything about themselves cause their all worried about everybody else." My goal is to figure out who I am and stop thinking everyone else is so much better. Granted I am still going to be blog stalking because I love being inspired by all my friends lives, but I am going to stop with the comparing. A quote I heard recently that I really like says, "There is no nobility in being superior to another person. True nobility is being superior to one's past self." So I am moving on, WAHOO! My pity party is officially over.